Self Care
While living in such a hectic world and having so many experiences each day, it can be easy to forget about how putting ourselves first is one of the most important things. Hopefully the information we've gathered can help!
One of the psychological topics that is most relevant to self care is. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It's a pyramid of human needs, beginning at the base with psychological needs that must first be satisfied before higher-level safety needs and then psychological needs. This hierarchy is less of a stage theory, but instead is more fluid, depending on different situations. These needs might be flexible based on external circumstances or individual differences. For example, the need for self-esteem may be more necessary than the need for love for some people. Most behavior is multi-motivated, meaning behavior tends to be determined by several or all of the stages, not just one. It is important to recognize how these different stages interact and build on top of each other in order to care for both your mental and physical health. You cannot ignore your basic needs such as eating or drinking in favor of doing things you like, even if they help your self esteem. On the flip side, you cannot ignore the things that matter to you and make you feel good about yourself. You need to understand which levels of the pyramid you are strongest in and which you need to work on, and attempt to balance them.
One thing we need to avoid in our everyday lives is rumination, which is compulsive fretting and overthinking our problems. This can can distract us, increase our negative emotions and disrupt our daily activities. An explanatory style describes the way in which people cope with their failures, and who or what they blame. Depressed ppl often explain bad events in terms that are stable (“its going to last forever”), global (“it’s going to affect everything I do”), and internal (“it’s all my fault”). Focusing on the opposite, which is temporary ("this will pass"), specific ("this is only one part of my life right now"), and external ("there were many things that caused this") will lead to successful coping.
Self-defeating beliefs may arise from learned helplessness, which is the hopelessness and passive resignation humans and animals learn when they experience uncontrollable and painful events. This creates one large negative thinking cycle. Stressful events lead to ruminating, then this pessimistic explanatory style leads to feelings of hopelessness, then this depressed state hampers the way the person thinks and acts, and then this finally fuels further stressful experiences. Someone's intensely negative assumptions about themselves, their situation, and their future, lead them to magnify bad experiences and minimize good ones.
Unconditional positive regard is a caring, accepting, and non-judgmental attitude, which psychologist Carl rogers believed would help people develop self-awareness and self-acceptance. There are different factors to having this type of regard. Genuineness is shown those who open their own feelings, and are transparent and self-disclosing. Empathy comes from people who share and mirror other’s feelings and reflect their meanings. Self-concept, which is strongly connected to our identity is all our thoughts and feelings about ourselves, in answer to the question “who am I?”. People who have a positive self-concept tend to act and perceive the world positively, which is what you want to achieve. Carl Rogers’ personality assessment asked people to describe themselves as they would ideally like to be and as they actually are. When ideal and actual self are alike, the self-concept is positive. Because of this, we can improve our self-concept by reflecting on ourselves and noticing what actions we can take to make ourselves closer to what we would ideally like to be. However, it is crucial to not get lost in becoming the perfect person. Some of the best changes take time.
Self esteem is one’s feelings of high or low self-worth. Those with a high self esteem succumb less easily to pressures to conform, are more persistent at difficult tasks, and feel less shy, anxious, and lonely. Self esteem changes as we age due to experiences and achievements. In one study, self-esteem increased from adolescence to middle adulthood. On the other hand, self efficacy is one’s sense of competence and effectiveness. This can predict school achievement, but self-esteem doesn't. In an experiment, after receiving weekly self-esteem boosting messages, struggling students earned lower-than-expected grades. Giving praise in absence of good performance can harm their productivity (see Motivation).
In a different study, when researchers temporarily deflated peoples' self-image, those participants became more likely to disparage others or to express heightened unconscious racial prejudice.
Esteem can reflect peoples' attitudes towards others. However, people also put down themselves for multiple reasons:
- Self-directed putdowns may be subtly strategic to elicit reassuring comments or feedback.
- It can prepare us for possible failure. For example, before a game, negativity can lead to an understandable loss that's less impactful, or a more noteworthy victory.
- It can help us learn from our mistakes. Statements and thoughts such as "how could I have been so stupid" can help us avoid repeating the mistake, even if it hurts us at the moment.
- It may pertains to one's old self, as people are more critical of their past selves than of their current selves.
A defensive or fragile self-esteem focuses on sustaining itself, which makes failure and criticism feel threatening. This leads people to respond with anger and aggression when faced with these things. In contrast, a secure self-esteem is less fragile and less contingent on external evaluations. This leads people to find purposes larger than themselves, have satisfying relationships, and have a greater quality of life without needing the approval of others, and this is the type of esteem you want to strive for.
