Relationships include friendships, romantic relationships, and relationships with family. All of these can be complex and stressful at times, but hopefully the information we've gathered can help!

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An affiliation need is the basic need of humans to build relationships and to feel part of a group, or the urge to be in a community. Social bonds were significant to ancestors, as those with attachments were more likely to survive, reproduce, and co-nurture their offspring to maturity.
Having a social identity and a feeling of belonging boosts health, well-being, performance, and self-esteem.
 

In contrast, feeling insecurely attached to others during childhood can result in behavioral consequences that persist in adulthood through:
Anxiety: Constantly craving acceptance but remaining vigilant to signs of possible rejection
Avoidance: A strategy used to maintain distance, where a person feels discomfort over getting close to others.
Social isolation: The brain remains hyper alert at night, and more awakenings lead to a lack of sleep.
Perceived isolation: Feeling alone even if you may be part of a group. The group may be antagonistic.
Objective isolation: Literally being alone and lacking social connections.
 

However, there are ways to combat these behavioral patterns.

Self disclosure is sharing ourselves - our joys, worries, and weaknesses - with others. An increase in disclosure can deepen friendships. Additionally, the Internet acts as a social amplifier. It provides information and supportive connection, helps us connect with friends and extended family, and is a source of support in difficult times. Social networking predicts a longer life when used in moderation.

 

It is important to acknowledge the risks of using technology as well. Those who are technology-based are less likely to draw help from real-world neighbors. You need to make sure that you:
- Monitor your time
- Monitor your feelings: Are emotionally distracted? Feeling unhappy when disconnected?
- Avoid incessantly positing when necessary. Think "is this something I’d care about if someone else posted it?"

 - When studying, check phone your less often. Having selective attention (see Attention) can increase productivity and reduce stress.
Refocus by taking walks, which refresh capacity for focused attention; boost spirits and brighten minds.

 

In terms of building relationships, there are some psychological concepts that apply. Proximity, or geographic nearness, is friendship’s most powerful predictor. The mere exposure effect is a phenomenon that repeated exposure to novel stimuli increases liking of them. This follows basic logic in friendships, where more time spent with someone repeatedly can increasing your closeness. From an evolutionary perspective, this had survival value to ancestors, as what was familiar was generally safe and approachable. Evolution hardwires us to bond with hose who are familiar and be wary of those who are unfamiliar.

Passionate love is an aroused state of intense positive absorption in a person, usually present at the beginning of a romantic relationship. Being with a loved one stimulates blood flow to the brain region linked w craving and obsession. Compassionate love is the deep affectionate attachment we feel for those with whom our lives are intertwined. Passion hormones, such as testosterone, dopamine,  and adrenaline, subside, while oxytocin remains, thus supporting feelings of trust, calmness, and bonding with a mate.

Something unavoidable in social settings, but sometimes harmful, is conformity. .Groupthink is the mode of thinking that occurs when the desire for harmony in a decision-making group overrides a realistic appraisal of alternatives. Irving Janis discovered that to preserve the good feeling, group members suppressed or self-censored their dissenting views, and therefore everyone assumed support was unanimous. This flawed type of thinking is fed by overconfidence, conformity, self-justification, and group polarization. When people act as part of a group, they may:
- Feel less accountable and worry less about what others think
- View their individual contributions as dispensable
- Overestimate their own contributions, downplaying others’ actions
- Slack off if they share equally in the benefits, regardless how much they contribute; unless highly motivated, ppl may free ride on group efforts
Positive herding is the tendency for positive ratings to generate more positive ratings, as people have the tendency to match others. After the shooting rampage, many states experienced threats of copycat violence; suggestibility and mimicry
 

Conformity itself is adjusting our behavior or thinking to coincide with a group standard. Solomon Asch’s experiment showed that when college students answered alone, they erred less than 1% of time, most did not tell truth and went along with majority of the group’s answer.
We are more likely to conform when we:
- Are made to feel incompetent or insecure

 - Are in a group with at least 3 people

 - Are in a group in which everyone else agrees with each other. If only one other person disagrees, the odds of overall disagreement increase.

 - Admire the group’s status and attractiveness

 - Have not made prior commitment to a response

 - Know that others in the group will observe our behavior

 - Are from a culture that strongly encourages respect for social standards

Normative social influence is influence resulting from a person’s desire to gain approval or avoid disapproval, while informational social influence is influence resulting from one’s willingness to accept others’ opinions about reality. Conformity can lead ppl to agree with falsehoods or go along with bullying, but can also lead ppl to give more generously after observing others being generous. We can use this knowledge to assess what will be both helpful both for the group as a whole and for our own independence.